The Gesundheit Institute

If you do not know who Patch Adams is, please this instant, forget this blog and go look up this amazing man. If you can call him that.

Seriously.

I find myself ‘speechless’ as I desire to bring up all of the surreal blessed blissitude of the Gesundheit Institute and the life of Patch Adams.

First of all, I recommend getting real close to your heart, right now.

Are you there yet?

If you can’t get there, let me help.

Think of Winnie the Pooh or close your eyes and imagine your favorite dream in the world, one out of this world, with big bubbles and colorful skies and laughter and love and beauty and extravagance. (Maybe that’s not all of our dreams? ^^) At least perhaps there is a smile that has cracked upon that beautiful face of yours.

A world of wonder. Of enjoyment. Of magic. Of play.

 

Patch Adams (seriously look him up dood) “entered medical school in 1967 to use medicine as a vehicle for social change.” He used his free time to “study the history of health care delivery around the world and to look at contemporary models with the idea of creating a medical model that would address all the problems of the way care is delivered. I didn’t intend to create a model that would be the answer to the problems; but to model creative problem solving, and to spark each medical facility to design their own ideal rather than succumb to the garbage of managed care, or a resignation to the impossibility of humanistic care”

I look through the 3 page “Vision for a Free Hospital Based on Fun and Friendship” that I have before me and I scramble to do it justice. There is such love, such devotion in the ideas of this man! The desire behind this hospital is to offer free of charge medical care, full of love “the loudest cry of patients was for compassion and attention, which was a call for time. So initial interviews with patients were three to four hours long, so that we could fall in love with each other. Intimacy was the greatest gift we could give them, especially in a death bed, with intractable pain or chronic, unsolved medical problems.

“Good health is much more deeply related to close friendships, meaningful work, a lived spirituality of any kind, an opportunity for loving service and an engaging relationship to nature, the arts, wonder, curiosity, passion and hope”

“This is why we fully integrated medicine with performing arts, arts and crafts, agriculture, nature, education, recreation and social service, as essential parts of health care delivery”

Patch Adam’s vision IS the epitome of what I believe. Of what I believe in. What is so special about his approach is that it is radical as well as all inclusive. It is not rejecting of knowledge or medical practices, only how they are practiced and seeks to utilize all of these things.

Patch Adams believed his hospital would be funded and running within a year of graduating from Medical School. It ha now been 33 years. After a world renown movie where Patch Adams is played by Robin Williams, the necessary funds have still not been gathered. Still. You know what is so FREAKING beautiful in this? IS that this dream is still so alive! SO thriving! IF the hospital had been funded, it would be up and running. Instead, it is not. Patch Adams travel the world to garnish support. But he also engages with other health care practitioners to help them infuse joy, relationality into their own practice and lives. He is bringing the change on a huge scale that I am not sure would have been if the hospital had been built according to schedule. Beyond this, 30 years of believing in a dream is SUCH a strong testimony of inspiration for ANYONE that believes in something. That has a dream. That meets with impossibility. Look at how magical, inspiring Patch Adam is. At how he brings waves in the lives of so many!

The Gesundheit Institute is a site to behold. Though the hospital is not running, there are buildings built. In magnificent magic. Childhood dreams. Why do we not build this way?

I sat on the steps of the art building. And wept.

Wept like a hurt little girl. All I want, All I want. Is to help people. “I want to be smart” I said. Looking at the beanie babies sitting beside me. The bye bye polar bear art piece behind me. All the ways in which people pain. All I want. Is to heal that. Is to answer to that.

I had caught a sickness at Living Energy farm that was not shaking. Fever and chills and soar in my throat. We went to the Waterfall. Mint in the water. Everyone continued the tour. I sat in the water. Shed my clothes, dived myself into the water. Revived.

Skipping through the forest and laughing.


I played clarinet in the art building, finally wandered to the main house. Walked up the rooms in awe and wonder.

As we watched the Patch Adams movie, surrounded by people that I love and love that love me. I was overwhelmed with hope. We can do this.

Magic. Affection. Love.

 

I feel so strongly. The importance of one.

I think that we so often want to have HUGE, REAL impact on the world. We forget that ONE person IS the World.

It is SO worth it. To help ONE person. To dedicate yourself to care for them. To love them. To be there for them. To bring ONE person joy, happiness, strength. ONE person changes the world.

Never, never forget what is right in front of you, right beside you. Bless those around you. Heal those around you. Love one person. Make one person smile.

Never forget, the importance of one.

 

That’s what’s so beautiful. That one person, in this huge world, where there are so many of us, that we might seem all unimportant, that ONE person, ONE life is such a gem, so worth your time, so worth your love.

 

We love you.

 

Thank you Patch Adams.

 

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Please check out the work of this amazing human:

http://www.patchadams.org/gesundheit/hospital-project/

 

and you can donate to the amazing project that is the Gesundheit Institute:

http://www.patchadams.org/donate/

 

Also check out the Patch Adam movies! There is one with Robin Williams but also the Real Patch Adams is a documentary on the man and his projects.

 

 

*safety first*

😉

 

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Permaculture Ethics

We would like to share with you some of the foundations of permaculture from the manual we used on tour for our workshops:

“Ethics are moral beliefs and actions in relation to survival on our planet. In permaculture, we embrace a threefold ethic care of the earth, care of people, and dispersal of surplus time, money, and materials towards these ends.

 

Care of the earth means care of all living and nonliving things: soils, species and their varieties, atmosphere, forests, micro-habitats, animals, and waters. It implies harmless and rehabilitative activities, active conservation, ethical and frugal use of resources, and “right livelihood” (working for useful and beneficial systems).

 

Care of the earth also implies care of people so that our basic needs for food, shelter, education, satisfying employment, and convivial human contact are taken care of. Care of people is important, for even though people make up a small part of the total living systems of the world, we make a decisive impact on it. If we can provide for our basic needs, we need not indulge in broad scale destructive practices against the earth.

 

The third component of the basic “care of the earth” ethic is the contribution of surplus time, money, and energy to achieve the aims of earth and people care. This means that after we have taken care of our basic needs and designed our systems to the best of our ability, we can extend our influence and energies to helping others achieve that aim.

 

The permaculture system also has a basic life ethic, which recognizes the intrinsic worth of every living thing.

A tree is something of value in itself, even if it has no commercial value for us. That it is alive and functioning is what is important. IT is doing its part in nature: recycling biomass providing oxygen and carbon dioxide for the region, sheltering small animals, building soils, and so on.
So we see that the permaculture ethic pervades all aspects of environmental, community, economic and social systems.

 

Cooperation, not competition, is the key.

 

 

Ways we can implement the earthcare ethics in our own lives are as follows:

  • think about the long-term consequences of your actions. Plan for sustainability.
  • where possible use species native to the area, or those naturalized species known to be beneficial The thoughtless introduction of potentially invasive species may upset natural balances in your home area.
  • cultivate the smallest possible land area. Plan for small-sale energy efficient intensive systems rather than large-scale, energy-consuming extensive
  • be diverse, polycultural (as opposed to monocultural). This provides stability and helps us to be ready for change, whether environmental or social.
  • Increase the sum of yields: look a the total yield of the system provided by annuals, perennials, crops, trees, and animals. Also regard energy save as a yield.
  • Use low-energy environmental (solar, wind, and water) and biological (plant and animal) systems to conserve and generate energy.
  • bring food-growing back into the cities and towns, where t has always traditionally been in sustainable societies.
  • assist people to become self-reliant, and promote community responsibility
  • realforest the earth and restore fertility to the soil
  • use everything at its optimum level and recycle all wastes
  • see solutions, not problems
  • work where it counts( plant a tree where it will survive, assist people who want to learn).

 

 

Arc 38

ARC 38 is a not-for-profit intentional community in New York State, we strive to embody a living example of alternative community building.

 

http://arc38.org/

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The G4G Revivalist Caravan stopped at the Arc 38 autonomous resilient community in Arcadia New York. A community “situated on about 180 acres of protected wetland, agricultural property and forested hills teeming with biodiversity.”

Arc 38 started as a solution based project after the Occupy Movement in 2011.

It is thriving with creativity, strong determined energy, freedom, play, intense intellectual intent. A spirit of Zen, a spirit of return to earth.

The G4G Caravan was very happy to stop here as we felt a strong intimate bond with the land and is inhabitants. Indeed, Stacey, founder of the People’s Project gave birth to her child Joy on this very land!

We were meant to enact a community action in New York City during our time at Arc 38. However, camping fell through, we had no place to stay, it was too difficult and for many Arc 38 and it’s beauty and conviviality weighed too much in the scale compared to NYC.

My heart had just been stung by Listening Trees. I wanted poetry and classical music. I wanted to be told something of the world. And know it was ok. Madison had always dreamed of New York City. Her and Britney were jumping on a train to the city. I ran with it. We were exited with projected adventure.

We met a young Turkish German at the station. He was headed to the embassy, to make sure his family was safe. There had been a political uprising in his country. Days before, there had been an attack in my home town. Someone had said “I’m glad your family is safe”. At that point I said “what about the other families that aren’t ok?” I still can’t make sense of this. How it is important to have favorites of some sort. For all of us to truly love those we love and yet to love others as well. To be special.

New York was fun. There was beautiful sound at the station. Maddie sang. Her angelic voice echoed through the halls.

We wandered around.

New York was heavy. Weighted.  I could not make sense of it. The weight. The fear on the streets.

We shed skin.

We also heard a beautiful russian song in central park and group hugged strangers from around the world.

We shed skin.

We found our Turkish friend on our way back as well.

I reflected on the meanings of life I had made in the City. And let them all crumble as we passed forest greens.

We arrived at Arc 38 at dinner time after our Turkish friend’s spanish friend finally found the farm.

 

Coming home. To our people who give. Who care. Who listen. Who want good. Who want change . Who are here, now. Look at you, hold your hand, hold your back, give you smiles, love, life, adventure, joy.

They had worked on the Zen garden in our absence and had gone to beautiful waterfalls.

 

Arc 38.

 

We experienced much there as a community

 

We swam naked at the creek and lathered clay on our bodies. We sang around the fire. We made delicious food. Went on adventures in the hills, in the water. Becoming little nymphs. We were surrounded by much love. We laughed much. The costume party in the barn. Dreamed much from all the mugwort. Fields upon fields. Body painted. Clarinet in the moonlight. Movie nights. Fire spinning. Pow Wows.

What. What is our desire for this world? Does that desire alienate others? How do we love, honor, respect, love, grow while define. We as a community agree to a way of love. A way of non violence. In words or physical actions. What happens when this is infringed upon?

We experienced such a happening at Arc 38.
It was with great pride and affection that I watched how we had grown as a community. A community that before was incapable of speaking in turn and not cutting each other off now truly listened. A community that could not make decisions about food came to a difficult decision about a member that had scared and hurt other members.

We all have different views. Often, it is when you share ideals that it becomes more difficult to distinguish and accept differences. Because you want and believe that if one says “love” and “light” ” acceptance” and “growth” that it means in action the same as you mean. We are all meant to grow. I believe this is the importance of delimitation of boundaries, goals, desires. Still  no matter what we learn. We grow, we embrace. Perhaps certain hurts might have been avoided. Certain misunderstandings.

Personally I wish to be able to facilitate and care for hurting individuals now. It becomes difficult when your ideals and those of others are not necessarily the same. Or when your heart is not the one in play. When individuals have been hurt . And all they want is acceptance, finally, for all of their selves. For their rough and their needy and their parts that no others can understand.
We can’t all take care of everything. Please, please still know I love you. Please, please, still know that I care for you. Please, please, know that I care for my family. And you, you I promise will be cared for too.

 

 

 

The world has need of you

 

The World Has Need of You

 

                        everything here

                        seems to need us

                                    Rainer Maria Rilke

 

 

 

I can hardly imagine it

as I walk to the lighthouse, feeling the ancient

prayer of my arms swinging

in counterpoint to my feet.

Here I am, suspended

between the sidewalk and twilight,

the sky dimming so fast it seems alive.

What if you felt the invisible

tug between you and everything?

A boy on a bicycle rides by,

his white shirt open, flaring

behind him like wings.

It’s a hard time to be human. We know too much

and too little. Does the breeze need us?

The cliffs? The gulls?

If you’ve managed to do one good thing,

the ocean doesn’t care.

But when Newton’s apple fell toward the earth,

the earth, ever so slightly, fell

toward the apple.

 

 

Ellen Bass

Like a beggar

 

 

 

A poem left by my side as I joined the group meditation late and stayed later. Love and ocean and tears when I think of those eyes. Full of light. Full of truth. Of sadness, of might, of days and night and music and trees and herbs and squirrels.

This poem says it all. The inspiration, the depth, the difficulty, the worth. A depth which penetrated me to the core and intensely affected me there after. So much so that although there have been lack of resources and demands in shift of my attention; I have shrieked from writing about the Listening Tree Coop. I sweetly love this place, love its founders. Wish to do justice to its truth. Know I am not up to the task. This magnificent place in Chepatchet Rhode Island, we stayed at for about a week if that. How could I possibly justly relay its truth? When I know, sense, and have experienced, an element of how deep it goes.

On the tour this summer, the G4G crew traveled to many different communities. Yes, most have an interest in sustainability. Perhaps more accurately most have a mission they are striving to carry out. And we wish to help them. This mission takes many different facets. As an anthropologist I do not believe I can accurately comprehend, capture and relay the ideas, driving forces, dreams, feelings, position of each place given the amount of time spent there.

 

Karina Lutz and Jim Tull are the founders of the Listening Tree Coop, ” a new cooperative homestead (re)creating sustainable culture”.

Jim introduced himself to the Revivalists as “in recovery from 20 years of political activism”.

I would say of all the farms, communities we visited, Listening Tree Coop displayed the most beautiful, organized, functioning leadership. As soon as we arrived, we were introduced to the farm, to the desires of the community, to what the guidelines were, utilities were; we were introduced to all the residents in an open, relational and meaningful way. We were given a short but all inclusive presentation of what Listening Trees is :

To “recreate culture that supports the best in humans, that make it easy to be good. Balancing of privacy and community : kitchen, farm, land, “a space for everybody and things to share”. On the spiritual level, Listening Trees is all inclusive, “people can practice what they  practice, do what they do”. There is no group practice at the moment.

I would venture to say, the Listening Tree Coop is where we learned the most. Maybe this is simply because I was personally struck so deeply by this community.

However, I do believe that the founders have such depth, true knowledge, experience of the world, humans, art, living forces, leadership, love, philosophy, kindness, music… that in my mind they remain untouchable.

Unlike other farms and communities we visited, there was no dehumanizing of the volunteers. By this I mean the expectation for Revivalists to either be who you are (adhere to a specific lifestyle, work schedule or value) or to be what you are missing : initiative, leadership, creativity, strength… Yes We desire to be of service! I observed that there was much frustration however in false hopes, expectations not being met or in forgetting that volunteers need rest, rejuvenation. That a sustainable lifestyle starts today every day and encompasses the physical, emotional, spiritual aspects of life and living. This means taking time for self, taking time for community, taking time for healing each day.

Jim and Karina were so full of grace. Showering us with affection, with space and time to heal, never speaking in frustration.

Here we saw the best compost toilet system and were gifted plans for one, went on many medicinal herb walks and given many specific identification types, we were gifted food to take with us… I think that we were gifted the vision of what strong foundations can offer. Here, love can grow.

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I’m not sure exactly what it is, still to this day. But a part of my heart was truly pierced at this farm. In the most beautifully painful way. In the way in which only ardent seekers of truth can understand. The way in which you love so much and would burn for that love and need for all things to be united, for the wind in the trees to be heard and the grass under your feet to be felt and the smile in sad faces to be seen and the tears in happy hearts to be known.

 

Pulling weeds, tending to the garden. Karina spoke of her life. Of Listening Trees. What did I expect, seeking to interview an interviewer: through this interaction, I found myself moved within a place of my own. Not wanting to move forward but wanting to truly sit with this feeling. “Do you meditate?”

“I have not been” I replied. Self observation without judgment.

She stroke chords within me, far off that have not been played for so long, blood dried upon them.

She spoke of beat poets and post carbon transition, handing me st john’s wart and self heal to put in my hair;

“You have the power to heal yourself”.

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And let us not forget that this was also the only place where there was provided organic, gluten free, vegan food at every meal, cooked with much much love and intention! Grateful for you Lizzy! And to Johnathan who spent most of his time in the kitchen 🙂

(that night we had OMaZen tacos!!!)

 

 

 

 

Thank you.

 

 

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WHAT AM I DOING RIGHT NOW??!!!

 

 

I’m at the Nashville airport, sitting in a leather booth with the chair on the table, bright airport lights still on, some country music playing by the entry, a loud fridge generator, a dood in a hawainn shirt sleeping on a lounge chair with his mouth open and his hat resting on his eyes. A couple other dozed off travelers strewn in a small lounge area. Jeff one of them. Not too shabby!

Oh and it’s 3am. I feel extremely energized!

The bus left!

I’m not on it! WHAT AM I DOINNNNNG??????

I ran after it for a bit.

Totally a scene from a movie. OOoooh ya I made it romantic! So did Shay as we dropped her off in a hotel parking lot today balling her eyes out like a baby. So did Julia, gone in a flash to catch a shuttle to the airport. So did Kristie, surrounded by her family. So did Madison, taking like a week and a half to make a decision. So did MAMA BUTTERFLY with her amazing angel light that made us delicious food and brought so much joy and love and light into our hearts. So did the little bus, with violent outbursts of shouting and rushed confusions and emotions as they took off into the dust of Virginia. Almost taking half of us with them. So did Britney, as she quietly left like the shadow of a cat. So did Jessica, getting hugged by Amma. And Trey early in the morning. And Steve after nights of intimate tribe time. And Gira and Astraya (Estrella?) spending time with us till the last drop. And Jaylin, getting rushed to the airport at the DNC, as we hoped to see her at the Water Station. And Scott, leaving quickly in the night as he got picked up by Stacey and Jarvis. And Heron. Oh Heron. Tearing our hearts out with every look. And Carlos reading a book one minute at the DNC, the next, vanished. Rosie and Kelvin, jumping off at the falls. Panda, taking forever at Stone Garden….

ooooooh that gets me thinking about all the romantic goodbyes we’ve had, with all the people we’ve met, and all the places we’ve gone….

As I hugged Gabby for like the 5th time in front of the bus, by where the taxis park I told her “Goodbyes are awesome!” (something like that) “Because it means we love each other! And we get to hug each other like this *hug really tight like a hardcore makeout* and tell each other how much we love each other and appreciate each other!!!” And when we are away from each other we get to see all the ways we love each other, all the ways we’ve changed each other. We get to realize aaaall the things we love so much about that person that we did not even notice ! All the things, joys, happiness, truth, comfort, laughter, love that that person brings with their simple presence and personhood that the world needs and feels empty without them!! And guess what the best thing (maybe not THE best thing, they are so many but ya know) is that YOU get to be an ambassador of this! You’ve seen this gift, you’ve experienced it’s work, We’ve taught each other how to love and shine light so we can do it anywhere we go and we take each other everywhere in our hearts and through our actions! Annnnd another best thing is that when we come baaack we get to tell the person all the things we hadn’t noticed and bless them and tell them how much we love them and allll things will grow tenfold!

Sooo . The bus left. And I ran after it. And a huge part of me, k all of me was like WHAT ARE YOU DOOOOING?? WHY ARE YOU LETTING IT GOOOO????WTFFFF

And it rode away and Jeff and I went from being the Hippies with the awesome magical bus that inspires and shines light and brings happiness to hearts and creative flow to minds to just being some dirty kids on the side of the road….

THE SHIFT WAS SO HUGE.

Scary.

 

But here it is. OH BUS HOW I LOVE YOU. HOW YOU BEAR SO MUCH GOODNESS ALL OF THE LOVE AND ADVENTURE AND HAPPINESS AND HOPE WE HAVE!! You are the bearer and image of and we loooove youuuu!!!!

Our amazing bus never broke down. 🙂 And we never crashed 🙂 Even when the breaks were out on those super steep hills in North Carolina and Tennessee. Not EVEEN in West Virginia at that Crazy spot Kristie took us to.

 

Gabby and I were talking. About personalities. The ride from Dreadie Yeti’s to the airport was about half an hour. Kik, Gabby, Delilah, Jeff and I. We were talking about how in smaller settings we’re more hyper, interactive than when there is a lot of people. So right now I’m so much more hyper, open and engaging than I have been on most of this trip, surrounded by all these loving people. Something about balancing out the energy. Or maybe about observing all of it. Riding the wave.

I am off to Canada for a little while. I am going to see my brother and his wife and son who I have not met yet! Gabby was telling me about how when you grow, your DNA grows too.

Let’s put all these concepts together.

We’ve all on this travel thing become a family. And when we grow, our family grows. All of us bringing each other higher, to shine brighter. The bus is gone and now I AM BEAMING. Not because I’m happy to be away from the Bus. But because I know all the light and transformation that bus bears and I AM EMBODYING IT NOW. I am being pulled up to that standard of light because I KNOW ITS THERE. And I need to even out alllll this energy! Lift em up!!

I have had this beautiful image in my mind for a couple weeks maybe. When the flies started dropping (you’re not flied, it’s just an expression): angels being together, beam with joy and laughter, loving each others’ presence deeply, sweetly. Healing. Concentrating beautiful, white, yellow, creamy, shining light 🙂

They do not have their wings outstretched. So they can be close to each others’ hearts. And many in one place.

But angels are meant to fly. SPREAD THOSE EAGLE WINGS BABY! Be a sign in the sky! BE a Light in the dark! Drop beautiful showers of golden love any place you pass. You walk on sacred ground. You are sacred. Inspire, heal, love, laugh, smile. THRIVE.

We are out in the world. To grow. In each time we tell the stories, we grow and inspire. Others and ourselves. We are watering the seeds and planting new ones.

We are seeing the pain and hurt of the world. The harsh cement buildings and walkways. Let’s paint them! We are seeing the tired faces and sunken eyes. Transform the anger into the pain that can roll away in seeing the hope you bring!

You are HOPE.

When you see the hurt of this world. You know. Are reminded every single day. WHY you do what you do. WHY you love how you do. WHY we need to BUILD this BRIDGE!

Why we need there to be hippie buses everywhere so we can always laugh and be happy.

Why we need to help build. Help water. Help weed. Why we need patience. Why we need hope. Why we need food. Why we need farmers, communities, networks, patience. Love. Grace. Acceptance. Forgiveness. Transformation. Drum Circles. Growth. Understanding. Patience. Hope. Forgiveness. Love. Appreciation. Patience…

 

🙂

 

 

LIGHT.

 

 

 

THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING

WE ARE SO SOS SOSOSOSOSOOS GRATEFUL!!!!

 

 

Woooooh!!! Grateful 4 Grace!!!

 

WonderinGypsay out.

 

 

Living Energy Farm

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Mission Statement:

The Living Energy Farm is a project to build a community, education center, and farm that demonstrates that a fulfilling life is possible without the use of any fossil fuel. Our mission is to serve as an example and actively promote lifestyles and technologies that are truly sustainable, and to make these sustainable technologies accessible to all persons regardless of their income or social position.

 

Living Energy Farm: LEF is a community in Louia Couny Virginia that is dedicated to building  economic self sufficiency based on zero fossil fuel. LEF employs both old and new innovations in daily life to function as a self sufficient farm.

LEF hosts different workshops such as organic gardening and orcharding, green building with low-tech and local material, solar water and space heating, solar electricity, woods, biogas, composting toilets, greywater systems and more. LEF also accepts interns to be a part of the community for a set time.

While at LEF the G4G Revivalists participated in farm activities such as the cooking with solar and woodgas, gardening, harvesting and green building. The green building project we were involved in led us to dig into the very ground we stood on: red clay; break it up, mix it with water and lathering it onto the walls of straw bail we also installed along with chicken wire.

One of the members of the community brought us to a community he had been a part of in his youth and still consults with: The Twin Oaks Community.

Twin Oaks is an eco village and intentional community of about a hundred people living on 450 acres in Louisa County, Virginia. Founded in the late 60s, it is  based on values of cooperation, sharing, nonviolence, equality and ecology and is a member of the Federation of Egalitarian Communities. Twin Oaks had been sustained in the past mostly by manufacturing handmade hammocks and since 2011 is more focused on a toy making business. They are also sustained by indexing books and seed growing. We were happy to be given a tour of this community. Anyone is welcome to schedule a tour or a longer visit; you just have a host to be at the community.

Louisa County itself was very welcoming. It is always so beautiful to experience long lasting, well established communities. To see flourishing gardens and the many elements that make up communities: clothes drives, kitchens, the history of when what building was erected, happy faces, busy faces.

While in town using wifi we interacted with many young people especially who expressed that they felt stuck in their environment and bored with their surroundings. We told everyone we could about the community we were helping at and the sparkle in their eyes told us of the awe we inspired in their soul by the passing of our colorful bus and smiling faces.

 

This is how I Find myself. This is how I lose myself.

Finding and losing myself

 

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This is how I Find myself. This is how I lose myself.

 

Group Consciousness

Group Think.

 

Traveling on a bus with 20 people non stop is honestly overwhelming.

Don’t get me wrong I love these people INTENSILY.

EACH ONE OF US is AMAZING.
Generous

Kind

Passionate

Affectionate

Attentive

Creative

Joyful

Outgoing

Loving

Forgiving

 

Other things that I appreciate less come onto that list when I find myself tired and worn out and not having space or time to recharge, reground, recenter and embrace everyone as my full loving self and as their amazing lovely selves deserve!

What comes then on the list would be “loud”. “Loud” when I am trying to sleep at night because I am sick or tired or simply need sleep.

Maybe sometimes it can stretch to “loud” when we are all on the bus and I just want to reflect upon the unfolding of this adventure and life. OR maybe I just want to marvel at each being on this bus and watch their magic unfold. It can be difficult to do so when 10 people are shouting. Or maybe that’s the best time. Maybe a little overwhelming.

Maybe we don’t all like each other’s music . Maybe we don’t like each other’s habits.

Maybe we negatively influence each other in how we think of things, in the things we speak of, in how we speak of them.

 

Still whenever I speak to anyone about the G4G tour it is QUITE difficult to portray anything negatively.

Why would I?

The reality is that I am quite literally living a dream. Traveling. on a painted bus. Through out America. To vibrant, innovative communities filled with intensely intelligent, moving individuals. WITH PASSIONATE, Loving, Caring, Wildly Creative, Dedicated, Generous, Hard Working, Delicious Individuals who have come together, called for this soul purpose to do this work. Our souls all activated to this call and we joined together in it. I have seen tears flow, smiles burst, jaws clench, oming group hugs rock, group meetings around a fire, build crews erect buildings, meal upon meal upon meal shared, plants loved, strangers hugged, family grown..

 

HOW BE NEGATIVE?

 

 

That’s an actual question.

The reality is that American culture goes this way:

how are you?

good.

great.

 

or American counter culture:

sending you love!

sending YOU LOVE!

I LOVE YOU!!

The UNIVERSE IS FULL OF BLISS!

 

 

 

Hahha truly. It is SO important to be Grateful each day for all that we have, for where we are, for all that surround us, for all who have crossed our path, for all that guides us.

 

Still is there no ying to yang?

 

Do we resonate with Nahko’s words because he speaks truth of our souls ?

“Black as night with a little bit of moonlight”

 

I have always written in diaries and journals. I believe it was last year, I picked up a journal from a couple months back. I was offset by the fact that a time of my life that I remembered to have been quite joyful and blessed was reflected in a darker tone of hurt. Because I only documented the hurt, the pain; whatever I was trying to expel from within.

But really when we do so, are we not putting seeds to germ?

Set your sights on higher things.

Has been a motto in my mind for quite some time.

I strived to only right of the good. Only wanting to spend energy on that.

 

Still how do I resolve certain things?

 

I believe a lot of it has to do with the village.

We need each other.

We need to be there for each other.

Witness each other.

Bear each other.

In practice what does this mean?

This means allowing for me, allowing for you to speak your pain, your hurt, your frustrations, your angers. Not feeding them. Hearing them. Hearing the source of the hurt. Being a source of soft light, traveling to your spaces where you wish to bring, what wounds you allow to be seen and kissed and blessed.

What does this reaaally mean? When someone expresses frustration about a situation. Allow them to. Nothing more. No rejection of that frustration. No backing of that frustration. No blessing of that rejection. Offering space for that to be heard.

When a human realizes someone is there for them. With no end in sight of that time of attention. True intense gratitude hits you then . More than gratitude. Grace. Realization of how much your soul always yearns to be seen. Of those parts that hurt even though you are Daily greatful! Even though you KNOW, you Recognize all blessings, how you KNOW you will grow, you KNOW you will be moved through all hurt and pain.

Still to know, to be faced with beauty of your brother eyes seeing you… this shakes me, tings at my heart, lets my tears flow And I know. Will you be my keeper?

 

I want to be my brothers keeper.

I want to be my sisters keeper.

 

Love me for my worst thoughts and deepest pains.

I trust you to guide me closer to light and to love through your eyes, through your heart.

And I, I will strive to do so for you. To see you in love. To see you in Grace.

To hear your words, to know your heart. To not assume the worst of your words, to know you are not your words. To recognize all you hold within. Your dreams. Your desires. To bless those.

 

I love you.